Mary Anderson - 20-12-1934 to 27-04-2022 For a woman who was so organised and meticulously planned as Mary, the timing of this would have been as much of a surprise to her, as it has been to us all. Amongst the numerous lists, notes and emails Sally and I have worked our way through I am pleased to say that she did, of course, leave instructions for today. I’ll start with her words to us all: “To my husband Gordon, my children Neal and Sally, my Daughter in Law Kelly, my son in Law Tim, my Grandchildren Sophie, Jordan and Sam, and to my friends… Thank you for giving me such joy and fun throughout the ups and down of life, and I wish you all very well for your futures as I really love you all” Born in Market Drayton in 1934, Mary was always proud to be the daughter of the town butcher, John Mountford. Her mother Eunice passed on a love and skill for arranging church flowers, and she often recounted the fun of playing Hockey for the town in her younger years. She had one brother, Colin, who worked in, and later took over, their fathers Butchers shop. Her organisational abilities, record keeping and skills as an exceptionally fast typist were no doubt honed at secretarial college in Oxford, but it was whilst working in the bank at Market Drayton that one of the most important moments of her life happened. The bank managers son came in one day and asked his father who that attractive new cashier was. Gordon and Mary met. They courted, they danced their way into each other’s hearts, and they married in June 1957. For nearly 65 years they have been by each other’s side. Mary and Gordon set up their first home in St Albans, both working for Marconi at the time. They were adventurous years with trips to North Wales and Scotland to walk and climb. Mum often recounted surviving perilous journeys across mountain ridges, although I’m not sure how many of them she actually did more than once. She did however enjoy talking with legendary climber Hamish McInnes about his work with mountain rescue dogs during a snowy New Years in Glencoe. Dogs have been a constant joy, comfort, and companion throughout her life, from her first, Hettie, to the later dogs Flora, Flo-Jo, Suzie, and Joyce that many of you will know. Sometimes we wondered if dogs were the most important members of the family to her, but I think Gordon had that place secured. After 10 years of adventure together, they moved to Newport South Wales as they started their family. This brought new challenges, opportunities and friendships for Mary and Gordon. Sailing came to the forefront of hobbies and mum was an able crew until I had grown big enough to take over. Sally made an entrance and Mary combined mothering with work at the local technical college. At this time Gordon was working away 3/4 days each week and sometimes for several weeks at a time. Mum perfected the art of always being right and kept us both in line with a combination of firm rules, fun games and lots of trips out based on her love of history. Mary always liked a holiday. Perhaps because she could daydream about upcoming trips with friends or family, perhaps it was having new places to explore, or perhaps it was the opportunity to plan and organise itineraries for others. All I know, is that this is was one of the things that kept her feeling optimistic and brought her joy. She liked to have two, three or four holidays booked to look forward to. She fondly looked back on holidays across Switzerland and Italy with bother Colin and his wife Angela, family adventures across France with Glenda and Ted and their children, and numerous cross channel trips with local friends searching out good food, good wine and good company. Money and time were never seen as a barrier to having some type of holiday. I remember one weekend when she desperately wanted to visit Pompeii but couldn’t afford the trip, she had a Pompeii weekend at home. She ordered history books, tour guides and immersed herself in everything Italian, including a lot of spaghetti bolognaise, for the whole weekend. A move to Puncknowle in 1977, prompted by Gordons job, was to be the springboard for her to find her own professional feet and carve her own career. As town clerk she brought new ideas and traditions to Bridport, establishing the annual Torchlight Procession and expanding the Christmas tree displays throughout the streets. She was Superintendent Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages at Bridport for many years. Sally and I have fond memories of Saturday morning trips into town where Mum would conduct a marriage ceremony, Sal would sit patiently at the back, and I would hang out in town with friends. She was never one to stick too carefully to rules, especially if they didn’t align with what she wanted to do, so when Sally asked if she could marry her cat Ozzy, mum duly performed a full ceremony for her. Puncknowle was where Sally and I also remember the birth of the legendary events - “a Mary and Gordon party!” As with most areas of their life, they both contributed two halves of a whole. Always plenty to drink. Always interesting and varied guests. Always quiche. A barbecue with Gordon at the helm. Always a good time. Always plans for the next party. Parties were where I remember the combination of Mary and Gordon at their most welcoming, playful and generous. As youngsters, parties were where Sally and I learned to pass round trays of nibbles and talk to strangers. Sally on vol au vents, and me encouraged to “go talk to Ralph” - even if there wasn’t a Ralph at the party. It was really a command to go out and meet new people. Don’t stand on the side-lines waiting for the world to come to you, go out and get it. Mum was a lot like that in life - giving orders to help you have a good time. Moaning was never an option and she would often recount her mother saying that “there is never a reason to be bored because no matter where you are or what you are doing, there is always something to look at and be curious about.” It’s something I live by now. Whether welcoming new people to the village, hosting the crafters, the art group, work colleagues, or friends, parties were one of the many ways Mary brought joy to others and the community. One of her most favourite books, The Ascent of Rum Doodle, includes a passage where, to alleviate the difficulty of being stuck in a crevasse for several days, the medic sends for champagne. Mary was also known to do the same, particularly when hosting a planning meeting or an impromptu celebration. The next time you eat quiche or drink a glass of bubbly please raise a glass to Mary, she will be doing the same with you. It was a desire to care for and support others that took her to working for the NHS at Herrison Hospital. At a time when care in the community was being implemented, Mary was at the heart of the approach in West Dorset in the late 1980’s and 1990’s. She was invited to form Dorset Residential Homes and as executive director she oversaw the establishment of over 20 homes across the area providing care for those with mental health, mental illness and learning disability needs. She built many lasting friendships over this time and was the first person to hold a Professional Licentiateship in Care from City and Guilds. She retired in 1997 leaving a legacy which endures to this day of person centred care for those that need it. We found a reminder stuck inside her diary saying “the TV is not a substitute for good care” and I am sure that was why the television was not allowed on in the day at home. I’m also sure it’s why she so consistently kept in touch with many of us all with letters, postcards, phone calls and emails. She truly cared about everyone she knew, and perhaps none more so than her grandchildren, Sophie, Jordan and Sam. As they have all grown she has loved playing games and supporting them with researching, fundraising, listening to recitals and proof reading dissertations. In Sophie’s words: “Some of my fondest memories include visits to the donkey sanctuary, potting up many, many plants and the last Jubilee party at the village hall when Granny was up dancing at the front. I’m going to miss her calls - she’d call most days, just to chat.” Mary was a much loved member of the local community. She was never happier than when organising others and being part of clubs and groups. She played the organ at St Marys Puncknowle for many years, arranged flowers here at Litton, helped out at Fete’s, and was active in Ladybirds, WI, the Art club and the Crafters. She inspired a love of reading in Sally, Sophie, Jordan, Sam and myself and in all the many pupils she encouraged and supported at Thorners School. More recently she raised funds for the bells here at the church. Many of the cards received by Gordon are testament to the love people felt for her, describing her as: “A great friend always with a twinkle in her eye; a privilege to get to know; a cheerful soul; charming and welcoming; an inspiration; someone with kindness, generosity and enthusiasm for all things; vibrant and young at heart.” Following retirement Mary never slowed down and the Bridport Leisure Centre was her next passion. Her cheery smile lit up reception for many years and she made many friends along the way. This is also where her love for fundraising challenges really took hold. She’s helped Jordan to fundraise for an expedition in Ecuador, she’s ‘Walked for Life’ many times, ‘Swam the Channel’ in her own unique way 5 times, and raised thousands for charities, many of them animal rescue. She dreamed of owning some land and eventually got hold of a small patch off White Way and planted it with several hundred trees. But how to manage a growing woodland? Take a course at Kingston Maurward obviously. When the course called for her to gain a chainsaw licence she laughed, and then took on the challenge with her usual confidence. She passed. Nothing held her back once she had set her mind to it. A gardener, a unique artist, a knitter, a good cook, and the most caring mother Sally and I could wish for, the loss of Mary has left a great hole in the community, in the family, and in her lifelong partnership with Gordon. I want to close with a few words from The Ascent of Rum Doodle that we often laughed about together. This abridged passage comes from the early part of the book where Binder, the trip leader, is describing his assembled team: “Tom Burley. Well known for his prodigious feats of endurance. Has been high. Christopher Wish. Excellent on rock. Has been higher than most. Donald Shute. Splendid on ice. Has been as high as most. Humphrey Jungle. Radio expert and route finder. Has been nearly as high as most. Lancelot Constant. Diplomat and linguist. Was expected to go high. Ridley Prone. Doctor to the expedition. Had been high enough.” I’d like to add one more to the expedition team. Mary Anderson. Is now higher than most. Send more Champagne. Neal Anderson 24 May 2022